I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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