It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
