i already hear my dad disowning me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
