I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
