I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize