Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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