Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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