Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
