you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
is wine microwaveable?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
