We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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