No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
