Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
