the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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