Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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