yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize