Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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