you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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