i don't plan on having that self control this summer
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
