The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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