Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
