how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
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I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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