Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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