absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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