This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize