I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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