If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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