Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
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I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
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Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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