Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
