We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
