He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
