Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
