I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize