How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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