Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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