fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
