His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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