the condom got lost in my hair
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
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he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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