shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
