Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
