well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
