Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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