im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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