there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
