Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
