you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
