It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
