I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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