he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
