please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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