she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
3 2 1 whiskey
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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