I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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