Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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