At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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