Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
