please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
