yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize